


Five Times Jensen Lies (And One Time He Doesn't)

by dandyline_wine



Series: Rascal Flatts Five Times [4]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-14
Updated: 2009-04-14
Packaged: 2020-11-01 14:23:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20816609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandyline_wine/pseuds/dandyline_wine
Summary: Jensen lies. Angst. The end.





	Five Times Jensen Lies (And One Time He Doesn't)

**1\. Stand** _ (or take what you’re given before it’s gone)_

Jensen spends his day off at the dentist and comes home a little irritable. He doesn’t get cranky often but spending an hour with latex gloves in his mouth while his gums are poked and prodded by tiny little metal spikes, well. That’ll do the trick.

He hears Jared out in the backyard with the dogs and he briefly considers just going upstairs to climb back in bed where he can tongue his swollen gums in peace. He sighs and heads towards the back door because if Jared can’t lift his mood, he’ll waste his entire day being moody.

As soon as Jensen is outside, he freezes, mouth gaping. “Jared. What the hell.”

Jared turns. “Hey! Didn’t know you were back.” He stands up. “How was the dentist? You going to be cranky all day?”

Jensen stares at him. “Jared,” he repeats. “What the hell.”

Jared beams at him and gestures behind himself. “Like it? It’s fucking awesome, man!”

Jensen just blinks. “What the hell, Jared.”

“I bought it and they just delivered it today! How fucking cool is this thing?”

He blinks some more. “Jared.” Jensen takes a few deep breaths. “Jared, is that a moonwalk in our backyard?”

Jared’s practically vibrating with excitement and he heads towards Jensen. “No, man. It’s a fire engine moonwalk. It even has a slide,” he answers, pointing.

Jensen stares at the fire engine as it continues inflating. Jared grabs his arm and says, “Come here. I want you to check it out.” He pulls Jensen towards the giant fucking blow-up fire engine and they almost trip over an extension cord. Jared toes the green box by their feet and tells Jensen, “This is the blower.”

“Blower?” Jensen asks.

“Yeah. This puppy blows that entire fire engine up.”

Jensen stares at him. He leans into Jared’s personal space and whispers, “Is Ashton Kutcher here?”

Jared pulls back to look at him. “What?”

Jensen’s voice is still quiet. “Am I being Punk’d? Please tell me I’m being Punk’d.”

“What are you talking about?” Jared looks confused.

“Jared. There’s a fucking moonwalk in our backyard. You’re blowing up a giant fire engine.” He’s still whispering.

“Yeah. And?”

Jensen’s eyes widen. “And? And we’re about five minutes away from appearing on How To Catch a Predator.” He glances around the yard and tries to look for any Dateline cameras.

Jared rolls his eyes and releases Jensen’s arm. “Whatever. I like it.”

“Dude. We’re two grown men with a moonwalk in our backyard. That doesn’t strike you as odd?”

Jared turns away, kneeling down to mess with the tangle of cords at their feet. “No.”

Jensen sighs and doesn’t know what else to say.

Jared looks up at him, smiles and laughter gone. “Why don’t you go be post-dentist cranky inside?” His voice is quiet. He’s not unkind, just experienced. “I won’t be out here too long.”

Jensen just shrugs. As he’s heading inside, he turns to watch Jared. He’s all smiles again, checking over his inflated playground while the dogs trail behind him. Jensen tries to feel guilty but then remembers that there’s a thirty foot long blow-up fire engine sitting in his backyard. He pinches the bridge of his nose and walks inside.

He changes into sweats and gets into bed, poking at his molars. He stares at the ceiling and listens to Lethal Weapon on TBS. When Danny Glover comes on, Jensen says, “I’m too old for this shit,” along with him right before he falls asleep.

When he wakes up, it’s still light out and he feels the bed dip. He looks over to see Jared kneeling at the foot of the bed, staring down at him. “Hey,” Jared whispers. “Have a good nap?”

Jensen nods. “Yeah.”

“Awesome.” Jared lies down next to him and props himself up on his elbow to face Jensen. “The moonwalk is totally inflated. It’s like, twelve feet high so I can totally fit in there, man.”

Jensen nods again. He takes in Jared’s grin and disheveled hair and feels guilty. There’s only a few inches between them and Jensen can feel Jared’s excitement radiating onto him. Jensen clings to it, desperate to absorb some of Jared’s energy just so he can give it right back to him.

“Wanna go check it out?” Jared asks tentatively.

Jensen rolls over onto his side and right into Jared’s personal space. It doesn’t feel intrusive and Jensen thinks it’s because Jared doesn’t have his own space. He shares it with Jensen, no questions asked.

“Yeah. Let’s try it out,” he answers. He thinks it’s the least he can do.

“Yeah?” Jared asks, hopeful. “I thought you hated it.”

Jensen thinks about the shit he’s going to take from Chris when he sees it. He thinks about Jared and Chad bouncing around drunk. He thinks about Mike running towards it with scissors while Tom tries to tackle him. He thinks about the maintenance a moonwalk requires, thinks about the looks he’ll get from the neighbors.

“I was just cranky from the dentist,” Jensen lies. “I think it’s awesome.”

Jared beams at him and yanks Jensen up and towards the door.

“Dude, let’s go.”

Jensen laughs and lets Jared drag him down the stairs. “What’s the hurry?”

Jared laughs with him. “I’ve always wanted to fool around in one of these things.”

They stumble down the stairs. “What?” Jensen asks. “Why?”

Jared shrugs. “No idea. We had one on the show third season, remember? I tried to buy it from the props crew but they shot me down. I’ve been dying to do it ever since.”

They’re out the back door and Jensen asks, “You bought this to fool around in? Jared, we could have rented one. Or maybe crashed a six year old’s birthday party.”

Jared grins at him. “No way. This is so much better.” He pushes the mesh aside and tumbles in.

Jensen resists the urge to look around to make sure no one’s watching. Relationships are about compromise, he tells himself.

He climbs in and Jared tackles him. A little white lie never hurt anyone, Jensen thinks.

*

**2\. Words I Couldn’t Say** _ (or there’s a wall that I’ve tried to take down)_

Jensen’s not really a big drinker so he’s not exactly sure how he ends up spending three hours at a bar with Mike on a Saturday afternoon. They’re not drunk but when Mike comes back with two more beers, Jensen lets out a resigned sigh.

“I’m not spending all day here, man.”

Mike raises an eyebrow. “You have something better to do?”

“Yes. Actually, I can think of about fifty things I’d rather do than sit here and listen to you bitch about your hair.”

Mike rubs his head and says, “Dude, I would kill for some hair. I can’t wait for this fucking show to be over.”

“You could always, you know. Not sign the contract.”

Mike shrugs. “What would I do with all that hair, though?”

Jensen doesn’t say anything. He wonders what the hell he could even respond with anyway.

“So what’s your little man up to today?” Mike asks.

“Don’t call him that.” He looks away. “I think he’s meeting with his agent.”

Mike tilts his head. “Oh yeah? So he’s doing that tsunami movie?”

“Earthquake.”

Mike looks around the bar. “Same thing.” He drinks some of his beer and asks, “So when does it start filming?”

Jensen shrugs again. He didn’t come to a bar to talk about Jared’s movie. He just ... he definitely doesn’t want to talk about Jared’s movie. “I don’t know.”

Mike doesn’t anything for awhile. Silence doesn’t come to him often and Jensen wonders if maybe they’re having a serious discussion. He didn’t come to a bar to have a serious discussion.

“Does he know where he’s filming?” Mike asks after a while.

Jensen looks at his beer bottle. “No. I don’t know. France maybe.”

Mike nods. “France. That’s fucking awesome.”

“Yeah.”

Mike‘s quiet for a minute again. “What’s with you, man?”

Jensen looks at him. “What?”

“You’re all cryptic today.”

“I’m cryptic every day,” Jensen says. He just wants Mike to start talking about Miley Cyrus or his new ant farm or adult diapers or whatever the hell it is that Mike talks about all day.

“Are you tired? Your little man keeping you up at night?”

“Seriously, stop calling him that. He’s almost four feet taller than you.”

“Whoa, strike a cord there, Jenny?” Mike starts watching the bartender with interest. “I just meant that the kid probably has all kinds energy. Of the sexing variety.”

Jensen rolls his eyes but Mike’s not looking. “Yeah, thanks for the concern.”

“He’s at his sexual peak, old man.”

“Yeah. Got it. We do alright.”

Mike shrugs and looks back at Jensen. “Just saying. I can score you some Viagra.”

Jensen sighs and leans back into his chair. “Good to know.”

Mike downs the rest of his beer and looks at Jensen’s, untouched. He glances back up to Jensen. He opens his mouth then shuts it.

Jensen blinks and thinks that he’s never seen Mike hold back a smartass comment. Not ever.

“I’m thinking about throwing a party,” Mike says instead.

“Oh yeah?” Jensen can’t look Mike in the eye and he doesn’t know why.

“Yeah. All we need is a theme.”

Jensen’s quiet. Party planning with Mike, this is something he can work with.

“Any ideas?” Mike asks after awhile. “I’m thinking I should tone it down this time. Someone always ends up spewing on the TV. That shit’s a bitch to clean off.”

“You,” Jensen clarifies. “It’s you that always ends up spewing on the TV.”

Mike shrugs. “’Pimps and Hos’? Haven’t done that one in a while.”

Jensen shakes his head. I’m not doing ‘Pimps and Hos’ again.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you dress up like a pimp with or without the theme.”

“So?”

“I don’t want to do it again. Those fishnets were uncomfortable.”

Mike chokes on his beer. “Well, shit. You just made a joke.”

“It’s been known to happen,” Jensen says.

He offers Jensen a crooked smile. “You got a better idea then?”

Jensen thinks for a minute. “‘Barbie and Ken’ maybe?” He’s kidding but he knows Mike will probably follow through with it and Jensen regrets the words immediately.

Mike thinks it over. “That’s a fucking sweet idea, Ackles.” Suddenly his eyes light up and he says, “Or we could go all ‘homeless’.”

Jensen blinks. “Yes. Or that.”

“Picture it, man. Instead of BYOB, it’s like, Bring Your Own Homeless Person.”

Jensen blinks again. “I genuinely cannot come up with an appropriate response to that idea.”

Mike’s barely listening to him. “We can make soup for them.” He looks at Jensen. “Bring Your Own Homeless Person. Yeah?”

“Sure, why not. I’m warning you right now about the potential theft but I suppose it’s safer than Bring Your Own Convict.”

Mike nods. “This is true.”

He can’t tell if Mike knows he’s being facetious. Jensen really hopes so but he’s not counting on it.

“So. I’ve seen the little man’s hair lately, Jenny. He could pass for homeless. I‘ll let you bring him and we‘ll call it even.”

“Dude. Stop calling him that.”

Mike shrugs and glances down at Jensen’s warm untouched beer. “You ready to go? We can chill at my place. Some pizza, some scrambled porn.” There’s a trace of effort in Mike’s voice, like he’s trying to be genuine. Jensen’s never heard it before and it makes him feel uncomfortable.

An hour later, Mike’s high and Jensen’s sitting on his couch watching a telethon on PBS.

“It’s the best idea I’ve ever had, Jensen. I can’t believe I’ve never thought of it before.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. We all dress as each other. Genius, man. Fucking mastermind.” He’s messing around on the internet trying to get his idea patented.

“Each other?”

Mike looks up from his computer screen. “I can wear a cape and possibly some red underwear. Tommy can maybe shave his head.” He waits for encouragement from Jensen.

“Uh huh,” Jensen says slowly.

“You.” Mike thinks for a moment. “We’ll maybe get a wig for you. Give you some girl hair and a pair of stilts. Some pink shirts, too.”

Jensen stares at him. “Right. Okay.”

Mike’s not listening. “Jared. What can Jared do?”

Jensen shrugs and points to his face. “I don’t know, man. You can’t fake something this pretty.”

“We’ll perv him up,” Mike says to himself.

Jensen furrows his brow. “Wait. How am I a pervert?”

Mike looks at him. “Dude. You’re sleeping with a twelve year old.”

“Jared is not twelve,” Jensen says and then mentally berates himself for trying to argue with Mike’s stoned logic.

“Emotionally he is,” Mike snorts. “He’s just some naïve kid that bounces from relationship to relationship.”

Jensen flinches.

“Your maturity levels are so mismatched,” Mike continues, oblivious. “That boy is so flighty.”

It’s not true but Jensen doesn’t argue. He thinks of saying, He’s only four years younger. He thinks of asking, Are you seriously giving advice on maturity levels? But he doesn’t.

Instead, he sits there and lets Mike’s words squirm under his skin and settle.

Jensen doesn’t remember leaving. He comes home and watches Jared watch ESPN Classic.

Jensen leans up against the doorframe and Jared looks over at him. “Hey,” Jared smiles. “Have fun?”

“I guess,” Jensen says. He can’t bring himself to look Jared in the eye.

Jared laughs. “I don‘t know how you managed to spend all day with Mike.”

Jensen shrugs, eyes down.

“Was it porn or pot?”

Jensen shrugs again. “A little bit of both.” He looks up and Jared smiles.

“Bad combo. Did he try and get all philosophical again? That’s always my favorite.”

“No.” He looks at the carpet. “We didn’t talk about anything important,” he lies.

Jensen cringes at his own words. He’s never lied to Jared, not about anything serious. He feels like a line has been crossed, a barrier breached. Jensen listens to something break but Jared doesn’t hear a thing.

*

**3\. What Hurts the Most ** _(or it’s hard to force that smile)_

Jensen spends his next few days fidgety, awkward in his own skin. He feels like a teenager all over again, everything changing except not all at the same time.

They’re filming one of those episodes where Sam and Dean spend most of their time apart, the kind that Jensen knows the fans will hate. Sam gets to hang out with a guy in Seattle, the quiet introverted older brother he never had. Dean wastes his time in Miami with a brash womanizer, the little brother he never got but never really wanted. Jensen thinks it’s about appreciation, about coming full circle but Kripke tells him it’s about a relationship that changes but not really. Jensen doesn’t get it.

He’s standing slightly off set with Brad, his surrogate little brother. They’re both quiet but the silence isn’t awkward, just unfamiliar. Jensen realizes that’s he’s never fully appreciated Jared’s ability to talk enough for the both of them when Jensen’s too tired to talk for himself.

They stand in silence for a few minutes and Jensen wonders if he should say something. He wonders if he should make small talk, ask where he’s from, ask about his girlfriend, ask something, anything. He wonders if this kid will go tell all of his friends that Jensen’s a dick because he didn’t say a goddamn word to him. Mostly though, he just wonders what Jared’s doing.

Then they’re taking their places and they’re suddenly Dean and Mikey, both drunk in a bar and hitting on anything with a leg. Jensen sits on the barstool and zones out while Brad delivers his monologue. He thinks about Jared, sociable Jared, pretending to be all withdrawn while Jensen sits on his barstool, all withdrawn pretending to be sociable. He smiles and waits for the scene to be over.

When they’re done, Jensen looks at Brad and asks, “Ready for lunch?” He notices that Brad is wearing a shirt and jacket straight from Dean’s wardrobe.

Brad nods. “Sure.” He follows Jensen in silence.

Jared’s already there, sitting at a table with some guy Jensen’s never seen before. Judging from his shaggy hair and the three layers of Sam’s clothes though, Jensen assumes he’s Sam’s stand-in brother. Jared doesn’t notice Jensen so he watches him from his place in the line for food. Jared’s animated and laughing at something the new kid is saying. Jared’s gesturing wildly and the two of them laugh some more.

Jensen pauses with his Styrofoam container of chicken and fruit salad, not sure where to sit. He feels like the new kid at school, looking for a lunch table and feeling spectacularly out of place.

Something bubbles up in Jensen unexpectedly and he thinks, This is Jared. This is my Jared so this guy can go fuck himself if Jensen wants to interrupt them.

Jensen blinks and wonders where the hell that thought came from.

He sits down next to Jared and glares at the new kid sitting across the table. Jesus, Jensen, he thinks to himself. Calm the hell down.

“Jensen. Hey.” Jared smiles at him and pats Jensen’s leg under the table. “Wondered where the hell you were.”

“Jensen. Hey,” says the new kid and Jensen can’t stop himself from fucking glaring some more.

“Hey.” It’s all Jensen can muster.

“I’m Paul. I’ve heard tons about you, man.” He shoves his hair out of his eyes and smiles at him. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah,” Jensen says. He looks down at his food but he can feel Jared’s eyes on him so he adds, “You too.”

When Brad sits across from him, Jensen introduces him. “This is Brad. Brad, this is Jared. And …” he trails off.

“Paul,” Jared offers. “Nice to meet you, Brad. How’s it feel to be mini-Dean?”

Brad answers but Jensen stops listening. Eventually, Jared and the new kid resume their conversation and Brad quietly eats his food.

Jensen pushes his chicken around absentmindedly until he feels Jared lay a hand on his knee and push down. “Dude, you’re shaking the whole table.”

Jensen looks up. “What?”

“Your leg. It’s like, bouncing the whole table,” Jared says quietly. Jensen hears the new kid clear his throat and start a conversation with Brad.

“Oh. Sorry,” Jensen tells him.

Jared looks at him quizzically. “Are you okay?”

“What?” He stares back at Jared.

“You’re just. I don’t know. You’re acting funny.”

Jensen pushes his chicken around some more. “I’m fine.” He thinks for a minute. “Want to go play some Madden or something?”

Jared blinks. “Okay, random.”

Jensen shoves his food aside. “Is that a yes?”

“Paul wanted to see some of the old hotel sets.” He watches Jensen. “But I mean, I can show him some other time or whatever.”

Jensen shakes his head. “No. It’s cool.”

He starts to stand up and Jared whispers, “Are you sure you’re okay, man?”

“Yeah. Just not hungry.” Jensen feels all three pairs of eyes on him as he walks to his trailer, like they can see right through him. He wonders if any of them can tell him what the hell’s wrong because Jensen sure as hell can’t figure it out.

He sits on his couch, thinking. Everything in his head is moving too fast or maybe it’s just too slow. The only distinctive thought he has is that he really doesn’t like the fucking new guy.

His leg is bouncing rapidly again and he says, “Christ, Jensen. You don’t even know this guy.” Jensen’s talking to himself and the realization doesn’t do anything to calm his nerves.

Jensen looks up when he hears the trailer door open and he watches Jared cautiously make his way inside. “Hey,” he says, tentative.

“Jared.” Jensen sighs loudly. “I told you that I’m fine.”

Jared rolls his eyes and shuts the door behind him. “Yes. Clearly you’re fine.” He moves towards the couch and lies down, head in Jensen’s lap. He looks up and says, “Seriously, Jen. What’s with you?”

He stares down at Jared. There’s no way he can kiss him from this angle but it’s all he wants to do. “I told you. Nothing.”

Jared closes his eyes. “Yeah, okay.” He’s silent for awhile and Jensen wonders if he’s trying to fall asleep.

Jensen thinks, The new kid can’t fucking have you. Without Jared, Jensen could spend his whole life living in his head. Jared knows how to draw him out and the new kid can’t fucking have him. Instead he says, “We make a good team.”

Jared’s eyes open. “Uh, yeah.” He meets Jensen’s eyes and asks, “Did it seriously take you four years to figure that out?”

He shakes his head in response. “No.”

Jared’s eyes widen and he sits up suddenly. “Is this about Paul?”

“What? No,” Jensen lies.

Jared’s eyes narrow. “You swear?”

“Why would this be about Paul?”

“You tell me.”

Jensen shrugs. “There’s nothing to tell.” He lowers his voice and says, “It looks like you two have a lot in common, though. Having fun filming?” It’s almost a whisper.

Jared doesn’t say anything for a minute, just tilts his head and smiles softly. “Holy shit.”

“What?”

“Holy shit,” Jared repeats. He bites his lip and Jensen thinks Jared’s trying not to laugh. “Are you … Jensen, are you jealous?”

“What? No.” Jensen wrinkles his forehead in confusion and then thinks, Oh. Maybe that’s what this is.

Jared’s all out laughing. “That guy?” He laughs some more.

“Yeah. Ha ha. Laugh it up, asshole. I’m glad this is funny,” Jensen says, sounding annoyed. He tries to stand up but Jared pulls him down.

He’s stopped laughing but he’s still smiling. “Dude, he’s practically me,” Jared says, as if it explains everything.

“I noticed,” Jensen replies.

Jared’s smiles at him some more. “So why would I be attracted to myself?” He tilts his head and doesn’t take his eyes off of Jensen. “You telling me that it wasn’t weird hanging out with a miniature Jensen all day?”

Jensen thinks for a minute. “No, it was definitely a little weird,” he agrees.

Jared starts laughing again, shaking his head. “Jealous. You jealous. I just. I never saw that one coming.”

“I hate you.” It’s all Jensen can come up with as he feels everything fall back into place. Nothing’s too fast, nothing too slow and he lets out a breath he didn‘t even know he was holding.

Jared moves to the other end of the couch and stretches out, resting his feet Jensen’s lap. “Is it cool if I go show him around now? Or are you going to go into my trailer to freak out and drink my shampoo?”

Jensen smiles. “Just go, you ass.”

Jared grins, teeth and dimples and Jensen basks in it.

It’s change but not really. Jensen gets it.

*

**4\. I Feel Bad** _ (or all I wanna do is turn the page)_

Jensen stares at himself in the mirror and thinks, Some things never change. Jared’s perpetual loyalty to his douche of a friend, for example. They’re getting ready for the premiere of one of Chad’s stupid movies and Jensen is definitely less than enthused.

He tugs on his jacket to straighten it out and examines his reflection. He looks dressy enough for a movie premiere but not dressy enough to look like he actually put effort into it. It’s a movie with Chad Michael Murray, for Christ’s sake.

“You look good,” Jared says from behind.

Jensen turns to face him and smiles. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he says. Jared walks over and stands close enough that Jensen has to tilt his head back just to look at him. He brings his hands up to rest on Jensen’s shoulders and brushes some lint off.

It’s just an excuse to touch and Jensen knows it because his clothes do not have lint. Just, no.

Jensen smiles up at him playfully. “The only thing that would be gayer than this would be you straightening my tie.”

“You’re not wearing a tie,” Jared tells him, tilting his head.

“Well, then this is pretty gay.”

Jared’s still tugging at Jensen’s jacket, still just touching, and Jensen doesn’t even think he’s paying much attention. “How bout if I make out with you? Is that gay?”

Jensen bites his lip and smiles. “Not if you’re wearing that shirt, girly man.”

Jared doesn’t even look down. “Dude, everyone wears pink shirts. You have to get over that.” He turns Jensen around and they look at each other through the mirror. After a moment, he says, “You’re really good looking.”

“You’re just realizing that now?” Jensen gives him a small, awkward smile.

“No,” Jared answers, uncharacteristically serious.

Jensen blinks and doesn’t look away. He feels exposed under Jared’s gaze. He feels transparent, like Jared can see something beyond. Jensen wonders what Jared sees when he sees right though him.

Jensen clears his throat. “Do I seriously have to go to this thing?”

Jared rolls his eyes and the mood shifts. “Yes. Quit your bitching.”

“I’m not bitching. I’m just saying. He’s not even my friend. I don’t see why I have to go.” He’s kidding, trying to get a rise out of Jared. It sometimes works.

“He’s my friend. I have to go,” Jared tells him.

“So?”

“So then you have to go. I have to do all kinds of shit for you so you can act like you want to be there.” They’re still looking at their reflections and Jensen smiles at him.

“So you want me to lie?”

Jared sighs. “No. I want you to be all, Hi, I’m a famous TV star with a ridiculously good looking boyfriend and I make a buttload of money so I can suck it up and go to one lameass movie premiere for the aforementioned boyfriend’s best friend for like, three hours of my life.” He tries to glare at Jensen.

“Yeah, okay. I can do that,” Jensen laughs. “But man, this movie is going to be so lame.” He turns around to look at Jared. “Please tell me I don’t have to lie about that.”

Jared shrugs. “It might not be so bad.”

Jensen raises an eyebrow. “Yeah okay. Freaky Friday, Jared? A Cinderella Story? House of Wax –”

“Hey!”

“Not a stellar resume, man.”

Jared stares down at him and tries not to smile. “Funny, I always thought Dawson’s Creek was the low point of his career.”

Jensen laughs. “Well played. I concede.”

They pretend to bicker the whole way there, up until the moment they step out on to the carpet. This is usually the part where Jensen gets fidgety – the screaming fans, the cameras flashing, the reporters flailing around and shouting his name – but Jared is right there and Jensen feels light. Untouchable.

Some woman from E! grabs Jared and Jensen is pulled aside by a young girl holding a microphone advertising a station he’s never even heard of.

“Jensen Ackles!” she says. “You’re here with your Supernatural co-star tonight. Anything you can tell us about this season?”

Jensen smiles and leans into the microphone. “No, sorry. They don’t let us know too much.”

She nods and returns his smile. “This is your last season. What’s next for the man behind Dean Winchester?” Several flashes go off and Jensen blinks, thinking that even two hours of Chad on the big screen beats this. He hears Jared laugh a few feet away.

“Not sure yet,” Jensen answers. “I’m mostly excited to sleep in, you know?”

He’s pretty sure she’s not even listening. “Sure,” she continues. “So is there a special someone in your life right now?”

Jensen blinks a few times. “Uh.”

She clings to his hesitation and suddenly, she’s interested. “I’m sure all of America wants to know – does Jensen Ackles have a girlfriend?”

He pauses for a second and nods. “Yes, ma’am.” He doesn’t offer anything further and he thinks that maybe he can undo the lie if he just shuts the hell up.

She smiles at something over his shoulder and Jensen turns to see Jared walking towards them. He throws an arm over Jensen’s shoulders and gives them both a wide grin.

“How about you, Jared? Is there a special lady in your life?”

Jared laughs and points to the E! reporter. “Actually, I was just telling Stephanie over there that I don’t have any time for a gal right now. With the show and this guy,” he pulls Jensen a little closer, “Well, I just don’t have much free time, you know?”

Jensen’s eyes flicker at Jared’s almost-honesty and feels like the biggest asshole in the world.

The girl smiles at him. “Jensen here was telling us about his new girlfriend. Do the two of you get along?”

He feels Jared flinch. It’s quick and subtle but it’s there. Jensen wants a time out, just two minutes so he can explain it. He can’t because they’re on the fucking red carpet in front of dozens of cameras and now Jared thinks he’s a dick. Jensen thinks maybe he’s right.

Jared recovers quickly. “Yeah. Of course! I don’t know her too well, though.”

The reporter smiles at them like she struck gold. “Oh, not yet?”

Jared shrugs. “It’s Jensen. He doesn‘t really kiss and tell so I don’t even know how serious it is. He’s a guarded guy, our Jensen.”

“It’s serious,” Jensen tells them forcefully.

Jared drops his arms from Jensen’s shoulders and smiles down at him. It’s fake and Jensen can’t tell what he’s thinking.

“Well there you have it, ladies and gentleman. Mr. Ackles is off the market,” Jared tells the camera. “But you’ve still got me. I’m a Cancer, I like long walks on the beach, piña coladas and getting caught in the rain.” He waggles his eyebrows at the camera and says, “I’m the more attractive Winchester anyways.”

On their way in, Jared tells two more reporters how single he is. Then he calls Jensen short. He smiles the whole time.

“Jared –” he tries.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jared says under his breath. “What were you supposed to say, right?” He smiles a few more times as they start to head inside and then, “It’s no big deal.”

Except that he won’t look at Jensen so it kind of is.

“Jared,” he tries again. They’re approached by the girl from TV Guide before Jared has the chance to ignore him.

“Hi there, boys!” She cuts them off before they can walk down the aisle to their seats and Jensen clenches his jaw. He wants to find his seat, he wants to go home, he wants to just not be here. He doesn’t realize that he stopped paying attention until both the girl and Jared are staring at him expectantly.

“Oh. I. What?” he asks.

Jared just blinks. He turns to the girl and says, “Sorry, Kathy. He’s just really excited about this movie. He’s been looking forward to it for awhile now.” Jared grins at her and she smiles weakly back.

“I see. Well, that’s understandable. This film has generated a lot of buzz,” she responds and Jensen thinks, Are you serious? It’s a movie about baby zombies, lady.

Jensen stares at her and Jared says something about the creative originality of the movie.

Kathy laughs and asks, “So no dates tonight, boys?”

“Nope,” Jared says and he throws an arm around Jensen. “Tonight it’s just me and my boy.”

She smiles. “A guys night out. Looks like the single life is treating you well?”

“It is. I’ve got my whole life ahead of me so I’m just enjoying it.”

She nods. “You’re too young to be tied down anyway.”

Jensen tries to say something but can’t think of anything to add. Instead he just closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Both of them turn to look at Jensen. “Okay,” Kathy says slowly. “Well, I’ll let you two get to your seats.”

“Thanks,” Jared tells her. “Enjoy the movie.”

As they walk towards their seats, Jared mutters, “Christ, Jensen. You were on fucking camera.”

Jensen doesn’t say anything.

They find their seats on the left side of the theatre and sit in silence for a few minutes. There’s no one around them yet and Jensen watches Jared look around the room. “I’m sorry,” Jensen whispers.

“For what?”

“For that. For back there.”

“Whatever. I get it, Jensen. It’s no big deal.”

He’s lying and Jensen knows it. Normally he wouldn’t push it but Jensen knows this is one of those times he’s supposed to push it. “Don’t lie to me, Jay.”

Jared turns to look at him and raises his eyebrows. “Don’t lie to you?” he hisses. “Are you kidding me?”

Jensen shrugs and looks at his hands.

“You just lied to like, a million people, Jensen.”

“I was pretty much just talking about you. I told them I was in a serious relationship, that’s all.”

“No. With a girl,” Jared bites back. “You told them you were in a serious relationship with a girl.”

Jensen shrugs again. “You told them you were single,” he says, defensive.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jared sighs. “I’m all about letting this go but you can’t turn this shit on me.”

“Okay.” Jensen looks at him. “I’m sorry.”

Jared tilts his head and doesn’t say anything for a moment. “Look, it doesn’t bother me that you say stuff like that. Not really. It just bothers me that you feel like you need to.”

Jensen just nods but doesn’t respond. All he can hear is, You’re too young to be tied down anyway.

They don’t say much during the movie which sucks because Jensen spends the entire time biting back his running commentary. They stand and stretch as soon as it’s over and Jensen groans, “God. That was ninety three minutes of my life that I’ll never get back.”

Jared pats his back and smiles. “It ain’t over yet. Time for the after party.”

Jensen stares at him. “You’re kidding, right?”

Jared shakes his head. “Dude. He’s my best friend. You‘ve made me do worse for Chris.”

“Like what?”

Jared just smiles and leads them out of the theatre. “One hour, that’s it. One hour and I’ll let you go home.”

There’s liquor at the after party and Jensen grabs two beers as soon as they walk in. They sit at a table in the corner and watch one of Chad’s zombie co-stars get trashed. After twenty minutes, Chad finds them and sits down at their table. He watches them watch the drunk girl and he shrugs. “I think she has an alcohol problem or something. She came to set loaded almost every day.”

Jensen raises an eyebrow. “And you didn’t take advantage of her once, Chad? I’m strangely disappointed.”

Chad snorts. “Whatever, fucker. I can get you the hookup if you want.”

Before Jensen can respond, Jared jumps in. “Actually, Jensen has a girlfriend now. Didn’t you know?”

Jensen sighs. “Okay. So we’re still on this.”

Chad looks at him and then looks at Jared. “Okay. I’m going. Over there. I’m going over there.” He stands up and walks towards the drunk girl.

“Jared,” Jensen whispers.

“Yeah?”

“Jared.”

“It was just a joke, Jensen.”

Jensen looks at him and he’s relieved to see that Jared doesn’t look upset. “Okay.”

“It’s just. Sometimes I think you’re afraid of anyone finding out,” Jared says quietly.

Sometimes I am, Jensen thinks.

“Like you think everything’s going to change.” Jared pauses. Then, “I’m not saying we need to tell the entire world or anything. And it’s not like I think you’re ashamed or whatever. But if people know, they know. It’s not like I’m going anywhere if it goes all public.”

All Jensen can hear is, You’re too young to be tied anyway. Instead he says, “I know. But who cares what they think, right? As long as we know?” It sounds pathetic even to him.

“Sure.” Jared shrugs. “But you don’t need to freak out about this shit.”

“I know,” Jensen agrees because he‘s not freaking out about it. Not that, anyway.

“It’s not worth getting worked up over, Jen.” He finishes the rest of his beer. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Jensen says. It’s funny, he thinks, that Jared is right but about all of the wrong things.

*

**5\. Pieces** _ (or we both know that you don’t need me)_

The next morning, Jared has his coffee ready for him. “It’s all sludgy. Just the way you like it,” he tells Jensen. “And your mom called.”

Jensen sits across from him and Jared shoves the crossword puzzle across the kitchen table. “I started it for you.”

Jensen smiles to himself when he looks down and sees three answers filled in, one of which is wrong. He takes a sip of his coffee. “Thanks.”

Jared gets up. “I’m going for a run. Call your mom.” He comes over to give Jensen a quick kiss and after a second, Jensen pulls away and pretends to gag.

“Dude, did you brush your teeth? You taste like a dead armadillo.”

Jared cocks his head. “How many dead armadillos have you tasted?”

“Whatever. Just go.” He laughs and swats him away when Jared bends down again and breathes extra hard into the kiss.

Jensen’s sitting on the couch flipping through the script when Jared comes home. He flops down on the couch and lays his head in Jensen’s lap.

“Ugh. Dude, you’re sweating on my script,” Jensen tells him.

“Whatever. I’ll let you borrow mine.” Jared closes his eyes. “Did you call your mom?”

“Oh yeah. No, not yet.”

“Dude, call your mom.”

Jensen tries to dry off his script with his pants. “Okay, calm down. What’s the big deal?”

Jared sits up and shrugs. “She told me you haven’t called her in like, a month.” He stands up and walks to the phone. He throws it towards Jensen and flops back on to the other end of the couch.

Jensen hears Jared turn on the TV while he dials. His mom sounds relieved when he calls and he only half listens to her for the first few minutes. Jensen knows it’s more of an ‘I’m not dead and yes I’m eating all of my vegetables’ check-in call so he continues to skim through his script until he hears her say something about grandchildren.

“What?” he asks.

“You’re over thirty, Jensen,” she says.

“Barely.”

“Well, are you seeing anyone?”

He pauses, aware of Jared sitting at the other end of the couch. “Yeah, I am.”

“Why haven’t you said anything?” she asks. “Is it serious?”

“I.” He sighs. “I don’t know yet.”

His mom is quiet for awhile. “Okay. Well, don’t go getting her pregnant if you don’t know if it’s serious.”

It’s the singularly most bizarre thing his mother has ever said to him. He opens his mouth to reply but closes it again. She’s giving him an opening and he knows it. She’s giving him a chance to say something like, Well until Jared grows a uterus, you don’t have anything to worry about. The opportunity is staring him right in the face but all he says is, “Okay. I won’t.”

She’s silent for a minute and then tells him she loves him. She reminds him to call more often and he promises. When they hang up, he sighs and Jared says, “Fuck you.”

Jensen looks at him, surprised. “What?”

“I said fuck you, Jensen. Seriously, just fuck you.” He looks pissed.

“I. What?”

“It’s not serious yet? Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?”

Jensen’s eyes widen. “You heard that?”

“Fuck you,” Jared answers.

Jensen blinks. His brain stumbles to come up with some kind of response but he can’t seem to kick it in gear.

“My family knows about you,” Jared says, angry. “My fucking friends. I live with you, for Christ’s sake. And this? Us? It’s been going on for almost five fucking years, Jensen.” He stands up and Jensen doesn’t know if he should follow suit or stay the hell out of his way. “Tell me, Jen. Tell me what else I’m supposed to do to make this serious for you.”

“I. It’s. I didn’t mean,” Jensen stutters. “It’s serious. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“You didn’t mean it like what? That doesn’t make any sense.” He lets out a loud sigh. “That’s really fucked, man. Not telling reporters, I get that. Who the hell cares. But your family? Your fucking family, Jen?”

“Okay, I know. I’m sorry, Jay. Just calm down,” Jensen says. He stands up and walks over to Jared. “It’s just –”

“Just what? Tell me, Jensen. It’s just what?”

“I don’t know!” he answers, throwing his arms up. “I just want to make sure first. I want to make sure before we tell the whole world. Before I tell my whole fucking family.”

And that was the wrong thing to say because Jared’s eyes get wild and he starts pacing. “Sure? Make sure? Five years, Jensen!” His voice gets louder and Jensen almost backs away. “Five years! How long do you need?”

“Not me,” Jensen says quietly. “I want you to be sure.”

“Fuck you,” Jared says, just as quietly. “Fuck you if you think I’m not sure.”

“I didn’t mean. It’s just.” Jensen pauses. “You’re young,” he whispers. “And maybe you need time to work everything out.”

“I’m young now? Jensen, you’re like, four years older than I am. That’s a fucking cop out and you know it.”

“It’s really not.”

Jared gapes at him. “Where the hell is this coming from?”

Jensen shrugs and desperately tries to think of something to say.

“You’re insane. I’ve been in love with you for five years and now you’re trying to tell me I need to go find myself or some other kind of bullshit?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. But you haven’t been single in like, ever. I don’t want you to rush into anything.”

Jared just blinks. “Oh my God. You are insane. You absolutely are insane.”

“Jared,” Jensen starts weakly.

“No, Jensen.” Jared shakes his head at him and starts to head out of the room. He pauses in the doorway and looks back at Jensen. “I don’t deserve this, not from you. If you think I’m not serious, if you think I’m not sure then fuck you.”

Jensen blinks.

Jared snorts at his silence and turns away. Jensen hears him mutter angrily under his breath as he walks out and then hears the front door slam.

Jensen stares at the empty doorway. He’s not sure how long he stands there, staring at nothing, but he eventually sits down at the kitchen table and waits.

When it starts to get dark out and Jared’s not back, Jensen start to freak out a little. He’s not sure if he should call him or leave him the hell alone. He thinks that the next move is probably Jared’s but he has a feeling that Jared’s thinking the exact opposite.

So he waits some more. He breaks down and calls Jared around midnight but it goes to voicemail. “Please call me,” is all he says.

He goes to bed alone and doesn’t fall asleep until after four.

The first thing he does when he wakes up is check his phone and he swallows back his desperation when there’s no missed call.

He goes to set without breakfast. He hasn’t eaten anything for twenty four hours but he thinks he’s going to be sick anyway.

“Jared called off today,” Manners tells him.

“Oh.”

“You know why?” he asks.

Jensen doesn’t say anything and Kim nods. “Go home, kid.”

On his way out, Jensen hopes he’s only imaging the dirty looks he gets.

He calls Jared again when he gets home. He picks up on the first ring. “Yeah?” Jared’s voice is sharp but he doesn’t sound as pissed.

“Hey,” Jensen breathes.

“What do you want, Jen?”

“I. I don’t know. Just. Where are you?”

“Tom’s.”

“Oh.”

They’re both silent and Jensen starts to panic, starts to think that maybe he fucked this up beyond repair.

“Jay?”

Jared sighs. “Yeah.”

“Nothing.”

Jared doesn’t say anything for a moment. “I gotta go, Jen.”

Jensen blinks. “Okay,” he whispers.

“I’ll be home soon.”

Jensen voice hears his own voice crack. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jared says softly.

“Okay,” he responds but Jared’s already gone.

Jensen sits down at the table again and thinks, Good job, asshole. You wanted him to think this through and now he’s thinking it through. You just orchestrated your own downfall, you fucking idiot.

Jared doesn’t come home for two more days. Jensen’s sitting on the floor in the living room, back against the couch. He’s staring at the TV when he hears Jared come in. Jared’s wearing the same clothes as when he left and he looks like shit. Jensen’s wearing clean pajamas but he knows he looks just as miserable. Jared sits next to him on the floor.

“Jared…”

Jared sighs. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, man. I’m really fucking sorry.”

Jared stares at him. “I know.”

“I’ll call my mom right now, if that’s what you want.”

Jared shakes his head. “That’s not what this is about,” he says.

Jensen waits.

“Jen, tell me what the hell is going on. This isn’t you. It’s not like you to be all insecure about this. You’ve been pretty fucking sure about us since the get-go so I’m just. I’m trying to figure out what’s going on in your head.”

Jensen shrugs helplessly.

“You’re not having doubts. I know you’re not. So what then?”

Jensen just shrugs again.

“Is this a midlife crisis, Jensen? Are you having some kind of midlife crisis?”

“I’m barely over thirty, Jared. How is that midlife?”

“Oh, yeah. That is kind of young,” Jared says, a smile playing on his lips. He raises his eyebrows. “I’m pretty sure I just disproved your theory on our massive age difference.”

Jensen looks down and tries not to smile.

Jared scoots a little closer to him until their legs are touching. “Are we past this?” he aks.

Jensen looks up at him but doesn’t say anything. He gives Jared a small smile.

“Okay, let’s be past this,” Jared tells him. He pulls Jensen towards him and bends down to kiss him. “And don’t ruin the moment by talking about dead armadillos.”

Jensen kisses him back and he thinks, Fine. We're past this.

**

**6\. Yes I Do** _ (or how you took my breath away)_

Two weeks later, they fly out to Chicago for a convention. They’re fooling around in one of the rooms before the Q&As, Jared straddling Jensen on a couch. They’re practically dry humping and Jared leans down, breathless. “You ready to get ogled, Jen?”

Jensen laughs quietly into the kiss. “Yeah. Are you?”

Jared shrugs and grinds down. “I guess. They always ogle you more anyway.”

“Whatever,” he responds. He pulls Jared down for another kiss and then they pretty much stop talking.

They’re sitting next to each other on stage twenty minutes later and Jensen prays that his face isn’t still flushed. They answer a few questions about the show and Jared tells some stories about them being drunk, ones that Jensen’s pretty sure aren’t true.

A giggling girl in the third row stands up and asks, still giggling, “So Jensen. Are you like, totally in love with Jared?”

Everyone in the crowd laughs and Jensen ducks his head. He smiles when he looks back up at her and says, “Yes, I totally am.”

There’s a few “aww”s and they all laugh. They all think he’s joking but when he looks over at Jared, he doesn’t care what the hell they all think. Jared’s looking at him with that smile, that fucking smile, and Jensen forgets the crowd is even there.

Afterwards, they’re fooling around in the hotel room half undressed, and Jensen whispers into Jared’s mouth. “They all think I was kidding.”

Jared rolls on top of him and pins Jensen down. “Yeah but who cares what they think, right?” He leans down and grins at Jensen. “As long as we know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Headers stolen from Rascal Flatts.


End file.
